journal

i've written in a journal, on and off, since i was in highschool.
it was all about love back then.  secrets and love

then there's my journals filled with the sadness of not being able to conceive - watching my sister-in-law grow a baby-bump while pretending i was doing fine.  those journals turn to hope and elation when i'm finally pregnant, documenting all the wonders and worries.
and my baby journals - each birth story, each anecdote, a mother's gushing love

in 2006, i started an electronic journal.  mostly i write about distressing things: fights i'm in the midst, hurts that i'm reliving, things i'm trying to think thru to find my next step.

with dunn-dufault day coming up, i went back to my electronic journal to print our 2010 goals and noticed i've written only one entry since last year.  about the HS group (of course!) but it was brief, after the fact, and almost like i 'had' to catch my journal up, like an old friend wants to hear the news.
i switched things up that stressful/hurtful time.  i spoke up, instead of pouring my pain on to a journal page.
i spoke to people in person, and on the phone.
i yelled a bit.
i wrote here.  i know i was heard (read).  it was cathartic.

anyhow, with my new found voice, it seems my electronic journal is no longer necessary.  so this is as good a place as any to house our D-D Day goals.  i'll be posting them next week.